When I was about 8 or 9, my neighbour raped me, and since then, I've been very self conscious about my appearance and emotional about the rape topic. Like, my breasts are pretty big, and I don't like that, because I'm afraid that would attract the sexual predators.
I've also been very emotional about it. My friends were having a conversation about it, and I stayed quiet throughout the whole thing, and then they started joking about getting raped, and I started crying. I still haven't told them what happened, and I don't want to.
So if you get raped, are you still a virgin? I'm 15 now, and it's really hurts to think about it, but that would mean I lost my virginity like 6 years ago.
I'm just very emotional about it all, I'm crying right now because I'm so scarred. I'm even scarred to date boys, because I just can't trust boys, not just boys, anyone. I can't even trust my best friend. Should I carry around something like pepperspray or something? I'm just so scarred, and I've been dealing with this problem for too damn long.
Could someone help me through all this?
For girls out there? Becarefull because bastard are watching you all time.